What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 03:19
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I was very sick at this time too.
He knew the spot.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
How do I separate the vocals of two different people speaking in a single channel?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I will be 64.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Apple issues urgent warning to all 1.8 billion iPhone users - ladbible.com
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Yankees get completely manhandled by Dodgers in ghastly blowout loss - New York Post
Especially a lifetime of it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Power Rankings: RBC Canadian Open - PGA Tour
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
(And it was in our own minds.)
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
What defines the k'vanna of the Book of בראשית?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Would this be the day?
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was seconnd youngest,
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Should the United States help Ukraine against Russia?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Who then, do I blame.?
Why did i forgive my father ?
Sydney Sweeney visits Central NY, leads Boxing Hall of Fame parade (photos, video) - Syracuse.com
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I write beautiful poetry .
Doctors Say You Might Be Eating Way Too Much Salt — Here’s How To Tell - BuzzFeed
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?
She wouldn,t have been !
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
How to Make AI Faster and Smarter—With a Little Help from Physics - WIRED
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Probability of Asteroid 2024 YR4 hitting the Moon increases - theregister.com
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I was scared of men, in general
She married twice! .
Nvidia and Perplexity Team Up in European AI Push - WSJ
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Seven years later, Nintendo fans beat Switch game even the devs didn’t - Polygon
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
All the time i was locked up.
It was going to be , some day.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Was to survive, this bastard.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
When she asked me how she looked .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I waited trembling.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I never cut or harmed myself..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
So whats the point in blame.
She was in good health!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I don,t even have a pension.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She found it foreign!.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I was 9 years of age.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
But it wasn’t much.
I have no regrets .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I couldn’t, believe it.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
One cannot live in the past .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Ive learnt so much.
But, we were locked up after school.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I said to her
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im still living with it.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
We were not on the streets..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
And i lived it daily.
Put me off passion for life!!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As i do to all so called friends.?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
This is soul school!.
So, i spoilt her more .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Comes on , in middle age.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
My life is so biszare .
He resisted the act ,that day.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
What did i know ?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She loved him until the end.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
My family never makes their pension either.
We all went to grammer schools
I think the readers, may guess!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers